To Catch, is to Love.

Today marks a monumental day in my life. It is my last first day of my college career. Say WHAT?!
Yes folks, I stretched out my college days. Im a perfectionist, but I also spread myself thin.
So over the years I have taken like 2 classes at a time, but now its time to crank it out...

I can't quite explain how excited I am.

Coming back on campus has evoked a lot of great/weird feelings.

Excitement, Anxiety, Peace, Joy, Creativity, Confusion, Love, Courage, and not to mention, Vision and Thought.

As I wait for my next class, I can't stop thinking about my generation. 
The University of South Florida has well over 40,000 students on campus. 

How many of that forty thousand need something today? How many need someone on their side? How many of these people brushing me as they walk to class, need someone to tell them it is going to be okay, that they can do this? How many of these people hiding behind their phones and computers, are going through their own personal hell right now? How many of these people just simply want to be noticed?

What if I stood at the doors of our library, and greeted just a few of those people to tell them they are loved.... What if I blindly did this to people, not just the people I felt comfortable talking to... but, any and all who walked through those doors.

What if?

What if this student body knew that they are not alone? What if I got out of my comfort zone, and assured someone today that what ever they are facing today, is not bigger than the creator of the universe?

What if?

What if the solution to the hopelessness, the pain, the darkness of this world... is YOU.

Yes, you reading this right now. Okay you may not be on campus with me today, shoot for that matter you may not even be in college. Maybe you are sitting at you desk today. Another boring Monday, and you are seeing the same kind of people that I see.

Those questions still ring true, and the answer is still the same answer.

God wants to use you today! Listen closely, he created you because he wants you, he needs you.

Matthew 4:18-20,
"Walking along the beach of Lake Galilee, Jesus saw two brothers: Simon (later called Peter) and Andrew. They were fishing, throwing their nets into the lake. It was their regular work. Jesus said to them, “Come with me. I’ll make a new kind of fisherman out of you. I’ll show you how to catch men and women instead of perch and bass.” They didn’t ask questions, but simply dropped their nets and followed."

To catch, is to Love.

"It was their regular work." School, is not glamorous. Work, not all that glamorous. It is regular.
But today is not a regular day. He is whispering to you to move. Will you do it?

This weekend I heard a sermon by Pastor Riley Short, in his message he said,
"We are called to be fishers of men. We get em, and he will clean em.
No judgement necessary. We have the easy part, simply love em!"

I feel like a major reason we are slow on the draw when we hear God telling us what to do, is because of judgement.

Who are we to judge? Who are we to question what kind of person needs or deserves this message?

I know from experience, even if someone looks like they have it all together on the outside, that means nothing. The saying "never let em see you sweat" comes out of my mouth more than it should (thats for another post... but!) I know I can't be the only one that tries to play everything off like my life is perfect.

No matter what that person looks like today, what they smell like, or even how they treat you. Don't let that hold you back from being a Fisher of Men and Women.

Don't let anything hold you back from loving on people today!

PPTSD- Post Pageant Traumatic Stress Disorder. (Its a real thing.)

"Don't be frustrated because things aren't happening your way, on your timetable. God knows what he is doing. He is getting you prepared. Your destiny is bigger than you think."

It has been the hardest month of my life.
I have had a lot to think about, and not much of it has made sense to me. All I know is that I have to get what I am thinking out, to create some semblance of closure.

I hope this post makes sense to you, I started writing this a month ago, and I am just now gaining the courage to finish it, and put it in your hands... so let me know if it strikes a chord.

...

Over the past eight years I have learned a lot. I have conquered fears, learned how to believe, I have put my full heart in Gods hands, and lived by faith.

If you don't know my story, let me take a quick second down memory lane to explain! Eight years ago, I sat in a little auditorium in Dade City, and cheered my cousin on, as she competed for a local fair pageant. My mom and I were new to this "Pageant" world, but we were ready to support family in any endeavor! So that evening, no surprise to us, my cousin won! A few days after that, my cousin and aunt asked me if I would ever consider trying out a pageant. They made it sound like it was normal to just decide one day to compete for a pageant… what?! My immediate response was "No way! You will never catch me dead in a pageant! I don't think thats my deal."
Over the next month, they kept egging me on…. encouraging me is more like it. I remember vividly hearing my cousin say, "Chloe, you know you would be the perfect Miss America! You have beauty, brains, and you can sing!"
At the time I had no idea how the Miss America pageant worked… I didn't know anything about it! But finally I gave in, so they would stop bugging me! Essentially, I did it to shut them up!

Miss Zephyrhills Jaycees Outstanding Teen (yes, the longest title of all time!)
My cousin did my hair and make up, she let me borrow her clothes, and even went through interview questions with me… that night, I won.
I had no idea that one night would alter my life the way that night did.
I was then told that the title that I had just acquired was just the beginning to a journey, and that now I had to prepare myself for Miss Florida's Outstanding Teen!
Later that year I competed in St. Petersburg for the title of MFOT, and received top ten!
"Wait, I can win money for school, and wear a crown and beautiful dresses!? Ive gotta do this again!"

And that folks was the beginning to the journey.

Since 2008 I have also been the titles:
Miss Pasco County Fair 2009
Miss Florida Citrus 2010
Miss Tampa 2011
Miss St. Petersburg 2012
Miss Orlando 2013
Miss Winter Park 2014
Miss Orange County 2015

When I became Miss Tampa, I can remember putting a need to the title of Miss Florida. I NEEDED to become Miss Florida so I can influence our state for the greater good. I NEED to be Miss Florida so I can be a voice for the voiceless... I NEED to be Miss Florida to have a launching pad for my career, I NEED to be Miss Florida so I can eventually do all of this as Miss America.

From then on, the want became a need. The fun competition became a passion... a dream.

This road has not been an easy one. Actually far from it.
It has been chalked full of blood, sweat, and tears. I have conquered fears, become a better performer, gained self confidence, gained stage presence, gained interview skills to kill, and gained life long friends!

SO! Fastforward to a month ago... June 20, 2015. It was finals night at Miss Florida. That week was Magical. We celebrated the 80th anniversary to the Pageant, and brought back former Miss Florida's that we like to call our "Forevers." To me, these Miss Florida's are friends, mentors, and role models. Im not joking when I say when I walked out on stage with them for our opening number, it was pure magic. I will never forget those moments!

The whole week of Miss Florida was full of those magical moments. I was front and center for our opening number choreographed by the Best, Shea Sullivan. I was a quality of life finalist, I won swim suit prelim, and I had the most fun that Ive ever had at Miss Florida!

The beautiful Miss Florida 2014, Tori Cowen!

Swim Prelim!

Some of my favorite people in the entire world! 

Thank you to Hair Therapy for Women for making my hair dreams a reality!

Bae. for real. lol

To those of you who have never competed in a pageant you might not understand this, but for those of you that have... You will know what I mean... I walked into Miss Florida thinking that it was my time. I had worked harder than I had ever worked, I found my "perfect" talent song, I found "THE" gown... I knew I was ready to leave on the plane tomorrow for Miss America if given the opportunity! Through out the week, I had directors from all across the state saying that they thought it was my year, I had friends and family encouraging me... I even had girls who were competing against me saying "If its not me, I know it will be you! You deserve this."
I thought my heart was in the right place, and I thought I was giving every moment of that week to God.

But that night, June 20th... I realized that all of those kind words, all of the encouragement, all of the years of preparation for a dream that I had, would have to be hushed to a whisper.

I wasn't crowned Miss Florida that night, and that is when I realized that I hadn't given everything to God.
I gave him the glory of winning, but I didn't think about the possibility of losing.

Our Top 5

Did I mention Im friends with Miss America? (yes, insert name dropping here!)

"Thank you, Lord, for what you have - and haven't - given me. Sometimes it's a yes, and sometimes it's a no, and we don't always know why." -Christy Knockles

I went to bed that night and woke up confused, dumbfounded, and shattered. I have never experienced anything in my life that put me in such a weird state of mind.

Over the next moth I didn't want to talk about it. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, I was essentially mad at God. I was hurt because I knew he could have given that dream to me if he wanted...
But now I had to cope with putting a dream to rest.

I thought why would God do this to me? Why would he put a dream in my heart just to let me down? Why would he let me experience so much pain? Why me!? Why Now?

"Man says... show me and I'll trust you. God says... trust me and I'll show you."

The answers to those questions are never easy. But I can tell you its more about the process than the out come. It is more about trust than the answer.

"Trust is engaging in Gods timing and process." - Zack Curry

This past Wednesday I was at work and a patient, Lynne, come into our office asking how I was doing. She asked the front desk if she could speak with me, she had something she needed to tell me.

She came and found me and told me she had been praying for me, she said in the midst of those prayers she heard God tell her-

"God doesn't waste time. He won't waste our time. Don't allow satan to silence you in this time of mourning. You have to mourn this, but remember that God is still going to use it for his glory! Remember all of the things you have learned and taken away the past eight years! When we are down, we are blinded and everything is fuzzy... in those moments we are spiritually sensitive to him, thats when we see God the most clear."

She also reminded me that "90% of people have to reinvent themselves throughout their lives, and that is okay! because God knows the plan!"

What truth. No matter what you are going through, if you just lost your job, if you just lost a dream... like I did, if you are stuck in the valley with no hope, if you are tired of waiting for what is next... remember that God does not waste time!

It isn't easy, but you are not alone.

In Mark Batterson's Book, Draw the Circle he says, "Sometimes we have to be willing to give something up to God in order to get it back from God. Like Abraham's willingness to sacrifice Isaac, it will probably be something that is precious to us. It may be a gift from God, just like Isaac was to Abraham. But God will test us to make sure the gift isn't more important than the Gift Giver, the dream isn't more important to us than the Dream Giver. He'll test us to make sure its not an idol. It if is, that dream, gift, or desire might need to die so that it can be resurrected. But God often takes things away to Give them back so we know that they are gifts to be stewarded for his glory. 

Going through death and resurrection makes us appreciate..." Makes us appreciate our dream, our gift, our life, what we have now, and what God has said no to, to draw us closer to him.

I may have experienced my biggest and hardest No from God, but I know it has been resurrected and he is turning it into something much bigger than anything that I have tried to plan. 

He is creating in me a new dream.

Thank you to everyone who has influenced me, and helped me grow as a person along my Miss America Journey!
My parents
My little brother, Trey
My dear friend, Jennifer McKenna (Pageant buddha, Minnie)
David Lang, and Carry Oneil - Regalia (My one stop shop, I only trust them to dress me!)
Tina Novak Robles (the Queen of song! and a Bomb-diggity vocal coach! Thank you for always having faith in me, and believing that I can do it all!!)
Allison Walsh (and all of the amazing people at ARS!)
Jaclyn Raulerson
Kristina Janolo- the entire Janolo family!
Laura Rutledge
Shea Sullivan
Stephen and Shawn Yearick
Diane Kennedy
Aleda Budd
Michelle Topping
Alicia Roberts
Bob Clark- and the ENTIRE Miss Tampa Board
Lynne Clark- and the Miss Largo board
Lynsey Counihan
Vivian Kimbler
Diane and Troy IronWing
Naunah, Bri, and Aunt Deb
My Sweetheart sisters
Every judge who has ever had enough faith in me to pick me!
Harold Singletary and Greg Smith
Mary Sullivan, and The Miss Florida Board

Thank you all for helping to mold me into the woman that I have become!

Keep an eye out for more posts on my "Post Pageant Life" Its about to get good y'all! Get ready for an Adventure!

XO

Grace

What is Grace?

A few months ago I had the pleasure of going to a friends wedding in Michigan. I was traveling on my own to this wedding, and didn't know who I would be sitting next to for the next 3 hours or if I would even take the opportunity to talk to this person.
I packed the book, "Jesus Is ___" by Judah Smith. If you don't know who this guy is, you need to check him out. He is an amazing speaker, pastor, and author.
I was only 3 chapters into this book, so a plane ride alone sounded like the perfect time to dig in!

I arrive to Tampa International Airport, board the plane, and find my seat. At first glance, my seat partner was a gentleman who looked to be in his late twenties, cool style, I was thinking musician, or artist… my kind of person. I said hi, but continued to pull out my headphones and closed up to focus on myself. It was too early for a nap, so I also pulled out my book, "Jesus Is."

Once we were in the air, my seat mate brought out a journal, and little jars of water color, and then a pen and paint brushes… I thought to myself, is this guy really about to paint on the plane?! Really?!?!
Yes my friend, he painted, nearly the whole flight! I pegged it on the head! He was an artist!

I got back on track, and sucked into my book! I couldn't help but get into the words that were practically melting off the page! I just kept underlining things that jumped out at me. Finally I get to the chapter called, "Jesus is Grace" that is right when the flight attendant came around, asking for our drink orders. I put my book down to get a water, and the gentleman sitting next to me looks over at me and says "So what is Grace?"

First of all, I was completely thrown off by this question… I was thinking, "did this guy see what I was reading? Is he making fun of me? What the heck? How do I even answer that?!"

*Okay, I know you are reading this going, "psh, I could answer that! Grace is…" and you are probably spouting off your answer in your head right now! Im sure!*
Well try to answer that question when a complete stranger asks you. Try to answer that when you want to be the best representation of Christ to another human being… its not easy!

I looked at him, shocked… and all I could say is, "Well, thats funny that you ask that! Im just about to start a chapter on grace…"
Hoping and praying that would be enough of an answer for him, so he would leave me alone… and I could unscramble my thoughts to find a legitimate answer…

He looked at me again, and said "No really, what is grace to you?"
Trying to seem calm I answered, "well, Jesus Is Grace to me. He gave his life so I could attain grace, so I could live in grace… I…. I don't really know how else to explain it. Its unexplainable! But that is just what I think!… Wait… what is grace to you?"

I still had no idea if this guy was making fun of me or what he believed in, but he agreed with me. He kinda chuckled and explained that he knew of Judah Smith, and I learned that this new friend of mine, travels, preaches, and paints as he is speaking to crowds. His name is Will.

The rest of the flight we got to know each other, and had a deep conversation about our faith, life, and what grace was to us.
Once we landed, Will looked at me, and said "Hey, keep thinking about what grace is to you… and let me know what you come up with!"

I has been months since that flight… and still to this day I ask myself what is grace?

Here are a few random thoughts about grace, that are only a small part of a very large gift, that none of us deserve… but we are given grace on a daily basis, even when we don't know we have it.

"Grace is something I am allotted every single day. Something I don't deserve, Something that was bought for me at a very high price.

Grace is so simple that we have a hard time believing it could be true. But Im convinced that unless its too good to be true, its not grace.

Grace is free because it wasn't free for him.

Hope for a needy world = grace.

You can meet Jesus, he is the personification of grace.

Grace is missing an opportunity and being given another one.

Grace is internal. It works in a heart level. Where rules force us to do the opposite of what we want, grace actually changes what we want, it creates consistency and integrity. Doing what is right becomes much easier because of grace."

Grace is having a relationship with someones heart. Not their behaviors.

Grace encompasses more than I can explain with words… it is a love, it is an expression, it is forgiveness, it is a lifestyle, it is unexplainable, it is Jesus.

The art created in the middle of our convo about grace. By Will Rosenberg

I never imagined that one plane flight would bring up one question that I would be talking about months later.

On my flight back to Tampa from Travers City, I just laughed and thought there is no way I am going to ever have a flight like I did on the way here!

I was right, it was a totally different flight, with totally different people… But God still spoke to me on levels that I had never experienced before.

I had the opportunity to sit next to a beautiful lady, Melanie. I once again opened my book, "Jesus Is." This time I was almost done with the book! WOOHOO!
I was on a chapter that at the top of the page it said "The Good News"
She looked over at the lady on the other side of her and started talking about what she was reading… and then she turned to me and asked "So you're reading about news? are you in journalism?" and I said "Actually no, Im reading about how Jesus is the good news. How he died to give me grace, so I can live a life without fear, so I can wake up free everyday!"

I had no idea what that statement was about to bring up, but Melanie ended up sharing her story. She told me how she grew up in organized religion, and how her parents kicked her out, how she does not want to ever pressure her son into believing anything specific. I just kept praying over her every chance I got to on that flight.
Let me tell you, I love this lady! She is so stinkin cool! She has a hand blown glass company, and she is incredibly talented!
As the plane landed, I had this gut feeling to just give her my book. In my head I said "No way!!! This lady is going to hate me. She will never read this, She doesn't care to read about something that she has been burned by. Plus I only have one chapter left! I have underlined all this stuff… I need to keep this. Maybe I will send one to her!" and as soon as I talked myself out of giving the book to her, I felt another tug on my heart. I knew I had to give her this book!

Once I swallowed my pride, I was ready. I knew if I didn't do it then, I could possibly never see her again. I knew even if she didn't read the book now, that I could at least show her that I valued her. I valued our new friendship, and maybe she will keep it on her shelf and one day pick it up!
I awkwardly gave her my book, and insisted that she take it! She accepted my gift, and we parted our ways.
Melanie's story is amazing, but it is far from over.


That day, I saw grace in action. I experienced it in a new way. I was a vessel of grace. I knew God was using me. I didn't know how to communicate, but he gave me the words… because of grace.

Im still to this day pondering what Grace is... fully…
So, What do you think?
What is Grace?

Equipping the Called...

You know when there is something wrong… and you feel it in your heart but you cant quite put your finger on it? For about a month now I have kinda been avoiding people, talking, and in specific I kept pushing away the opportunity to lead worship.

If you are unaware, I have lead worship at my home church since I was in 5^th grade! All through out middle school, high school and college. For a while there I was leading every Sunday! This is truly a major part of my life. I have tried to “lead worship” in all aspects of my life… I believe that leading on stage is only a part of the job. It is being able to lead a life that points to God at all times, and gives his name the glory. When I am on stage, or even helping backstage… my heart is in leading people to the throne room of Jesus. I want God to use me to be a door holder. I want to open the door for his people to be able to connect with him on a whole new level. This has always been my goal, and I can say it truly makes my heart happy to help create an environment of worship.

So for the past four weeks, I have turned down the opportunity to lead on stage at church. Not once… but multiple times. I knew something was wrong… but I didn’t quite know what. I just kept telling myself “Just give yourself some time to recover after Miss Florida.”

For those of you who are reading this, who dont understand pageant land…. Its not as simple as just competing then jumping right back into real life. I had dedicated SO much time to my preparations for Miss Florida… that I was physically, and mentally exhausted. I was at a voice lesson every week… sometimes twice a week… trying to improve my skill, and my talent.

The talent portion of the Miss Florida pageant is 35% of our score… so I really wanted to do my absolute best!

I never have loved to listen to my voice…. But lets be honest… who actually likes to hear themselves?...

I have been around SO many talented musicians, and vocalists, and I knew I wasn’t up to their caliber… but I knew God gave me a voice, and a passion for a reason! That’s exactly why I started singing… But the past three years I have been struggling with confidence in my voice.

Through a few pageants I have been told 

“Chloe its okay…. You just aren’t a singer! Its fine.” 

Or 

“Chloe, just pick an easy song because we don’t want you to have to try too hard... Talent, and singing have always been your Achilles heal.”

WHAT?!?! What does any of that even mean?! No I am not a Whitney Houston, or a Katherine McPhee… but that doesn’t mean that I cant sing!

I kept letting these lies that I heard consistently eat away at me… I let them become real. I became more self conscious… I didn’t believe in myself any more. I couldn’t imagine why I would keep trying to sing if so many people disliked my voice… or thought I couldn’t sing.

This had ruined me. It had taken away the joy I got when I would get on sage to sing… I became nervous, and uncomfortable… I would open my mouth to sing and my voice would shake and tremor with the fear that I wasn’t good enough.

For the past 4 weeks I have felt this more now than ever. After receiving 2^nd place at the Miss Florida pageant… I still had people telling me I wasn’t good enough. People telling me I needed to change my talent… or figure out something easier to do.

First of all…. How dare I let them get inside my heart, and my head.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” –Eleanor Roosevelt.

This weekend I visited some family in Georgia for a family reunion… so naturally… if I am anywhere in Georgia… on a weekend…. I am going to try the hardest I can to go to church! Ever since High School I have considered Louie Giglio my pastor. I have heard him speak many times, and I just feel like I know his family… even though I don’t! lol. Anyways, he is the pastor at Passion City Church! I always feel welcome at this place… its SO crazy, how the environment that they create makes everyone feel at home!

So it was my Mom, my brother, my Grandfather, and myself! I had this plan in the back of my head to take them all to Passion City with me so they could experience the way that I love to connect with God! Well… a few times on Friday and Saturday my grandfather had said he wanted to go to “Catholic church, because It is the best around here!”

In my heart… I knew I had to make it to Passion… some how… some way… even if it was just on my own.

God works is crazy ways… and some how he got all 4 of us to the 12:30 service at Passion City…. WOOHOOOOOOO!

The new message series Louie was speaking on is called “Goliath Must Fall."

Yeah, I know... you just remembered the story of David and Goliath, didn’t you?... well the jist of the message was that we all have a Giant in our lives… and some how after a while, we accommodate this giant.

(The main points in the message)

1) We are not David…. Jesus is, and he has defeated this giant for you!

2) David’s motivation was the fame of God.

3) Your giant is already dead!

That giant in your life may still be talking to you, and breaking you down… but it is VERY much dead!

We have the power of the name of Jesus! We don’t use it enough…

The lack of confidence in my voice is my giant. I have let it over take me, and my ability to lead. I have realized when I let this control me… it just diminishes Gods glory in my life. It taunts God and terrorizes me. It diminishes God and demoralizes me.

I will not let this hold me back from my destiny. And even more than that… I wont let this take the fame and Glory away from my Jesus.

The only way we can over come our giants… is to first believe in the power of the name of Jesus. Then start talking God talk, and start talking to our giant. Telling your giant, "My God is the God who spoke the universe into creation, he has already conquered you…. and I don't have to listen to you, you are dead!"

Kristian Stanfill and Christy Nockles … Two of my role models… lead worship at Passion City… Perfect timing. Seeing them on stage, feeling the worship that was going on around me, and finally letting my guard down helped me to remember… that I know I am called to lead people. I crave to make music that will point to Jesus and provide people with a worship experience that they need to grow closer to our creator.

The fire that I had once lost was now all the sudden back.

I know it will not be easy… but I know with the power of my God who has already defeated death, and called me to victory… I know I will over come!

He does not call the equipped…. He equips the called.

My Amazing family!

Little Berkeley! <3

Passion City!

Beckham and Berkeley!

You aint seen nothin yet

You haven't seen anything yet…

My vision is limited, Gods is vast.
My dream is small, Gods is limitless.

I watched a message this morning, and I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with emotion.

The past two weeks for me have been an emotional roller coaster. I have cried, I have laughed, and I have sat confused and just thought about my future… So hopefully it won't come as a shock to you when I explain exactly why I was so moved by this message.

"What you have in mind is too small. Your plans and your goals are part of your destiny but the plans God has for you are larger than you can imagine… the amount of people that you are going to impact will boggle your mind."

"God is a progressive God. He has designed you to go further than previous generations."
"He will bring out talents that you didn't know you had, He will get you where you need to be to fulfill your destiny."

God says "Ive got something bigger for you."
His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.

"Go where you've never been, Whatever you're dreaming about, God is going to supersize that dream. There is about to be a down pour of favor… Get ready for explosive blessings."

I definitely needed to hear this. I think we all need the reminder every once in a while that, no matter your dreams, no matter where you are currently… God has even bigger plans.

I haven't even seen 1/2 of what God can do! I know he will do more!

Take the limits off of God.
God sees what you can not see.


I wanted to clear a few things up from a contestants point of view…


A few days ago I received a call saying that there was a mix up in the judging at Miss Florida this past weekend. I think I was just as shocked as the other two women involved in the tabulation error. I felt sick for both of these ladies. I am very close to both Elisabeth Fechtel, and to Tori Cowen. Liz is practically a sister, she has been the sweetest, and a very supportive friend.
My heart goes out for Liz. But she is a strong woman full of grace, and she has God all over her! I know that this is a tough time, but I have no doubt that she will be back more beautiful and stronger than ever.
I grew up with Tori, our dads went to school together, and she truly has been a little sister my entire life. Tori has worked her entire life for the opportunity to compete at Miss America. I know she will be stunning on that stage in September! I am SO proud of her, and I know God has amazing plans for that beauty!

It is unfortunate that this happened, but I am honored to be a part of an organization that maintains their integrity and honesty… even when it is not easy.

There are quite a few rumors swirling around, please take the rumors and what the media has said with a grain of salt… and join me as we lift up both of these young women along with the Miss America Organization.
We are human, and people do make mistakes... but we can not allow those mistakes to define the situation.

"And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail." Isaiah 58:11


http://elizabethfechtel.wordpress.com


https://www.facebook.com/MissFloridaPageant

Say My Name

"If you're breathing God has a purpose for you. As long as you have breath, somebody needs what you have. Your gifts, your talent, your love, your smile."

With the Beautiful Anika!

          Last Saturday I checked in to Miss Florida. Throughout the rest of the week 50 of Florida's most intelligent, beautiful, talent young women were sequestered away in St petersburg. We spent time in rehearsals, interviews, and onstage trying to prove to 5 people that we were each the perfect representative for the State of Florida at the Miss America Pageant. At the end of each day we faced the scary realization that only one of us would win. Only one of us would become the next Miss Florida.

With the beautiful Myrrhanda Jones

Through out pageant week, some girls break… some can't withstand the grueling hours of rehearsal or the pressure of living with 50 amazing women. I have heard that the girl who wins Miss America is the one who is still smiling and loving the experience at the end of the week… every complaint, every tear, every doubt works against us through out this process… Not only do we have to survive… but we have to help each other. We help with hair and make up, we help with the mental break downs and blocks as well. We all become a backstage pageant coach during the week.
I can tell you that some of my VERY best friends have been made through pageant week. We are there for each other no matter what!
This is one of my most favorite parts of the Miss America Organization! The Sisterhood and bond that is formed!

The lovely Katey Dauble

Miss Tampa sisters with the director, Bob Clark

The ever So sweet Leila Sabet!

My sister queens, and friends for life, Kristilee and Kalen

People think of pageants as a hobby, something that looks a whole lot like Honey Boo Boo's life. They think we have a hair stylist and make up artist to help us at the pageant… they think we just hop on stage and do whatever we come up with and cross out fingers that we win. HA! No way.
My life is the furthest from this. I have spent the past 7 years perfecting my Interview, Speaking skills, Living a healthy life style, voice lessons each week… I have had to deal with the haters… and the fans. I have seen the highs of winning, and the lows of losing.

I have always said, you have to be a good loser and a good winner...

Over the past few days I have had some time to reflect, and think about my experience at Miss Florida. I walked into this year much different than I ever have. I thought to myself, "I will fight for this. I want this more than anyone will ever be able to understand." I woke up each day saying that I would win every single day, even if we were only in rehearsal for that day! I wanted to be the best me I could be. I knew I had to claim beauty over my ashes. I put everything I had worked for, every hour , all of the blood, sweat, and tears in Gods hands. Because I know His plan is much greater than mine will ever be.

Once it came down to finals night I was on cloud nine! I knew it was going to be a great day!
I was the last one to be called into the top five. Usually all that is going through my head at this point is "SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME…." But this year… all I could tell my self was… "No fear, no doubt. I am the head and not the tail in Jesus name. My dreams are coming to pass. I believe God has great things in store for my life!"
and BOOM They said my name. I know you are reading this saying "well if thats how you see it… then God really let you down!"
No… my point in telling you this is the fact that, God came through for me. 
(Like he always does.)

I am reading a book by Sarah Young, called "Jesus Today." and one of my favorite pages says this…
"I am Calling you to live in joyful dependence on Me. Many people view dependence as a despicable condition, so they strive to be as self-sufficient as possible. This is not my way for you! I designed you to need me continually- and to delight in that neediness."
"When your energy is running low, connect with me- Your Strength. Sometimes I pour abundant energy into you as you spend time in my presence. At other times I energize you only bit by bit, giving you just enough strength to keep slowly moving forward. Although the abundant provision is more dramatic and satisfying, do not be discouraged when I choose to give you strength sufficient only for the moment. This may be my way of keeping you ever so close to me on your life-path, leaning on Me."

When you get to the end of your rope… when you no longer know what to do with your life… That is when God starts working. God has given me enough strength to keep moving forward, but just enough to keep me close to him! I can truly say, I love this, and I needed this. I wouldn't have changed that moment in time for anything in the world! I had to trust in God with every ounce of my being. Until you do that yourself, I can not explain the feeling.
I am just thankful for everything that came to me this past week.
I have been told, that is the aloha spirit in me.

…On that note,

I would like to thank The Miss Florida Scholarship Pageant for an experience of a life time, and to Mary Sullivan for your unwavering support and love for each one of the women who come through The Miss Florida organization. Thank you to EVERYONE who came to support me, and for all of the kind words and prayers!!! 

I was in awe when I saw a picture of everyone who came to support me! The sweet words, and kind notes that I received were more helpful than I can explain!

Although I did not walk away this year with the crown, I have learned that this organization is SO much more than beautiful Gowns, and sparkly crowns… It is a sisterhood, a job, a networking experience, a door opener, a life changer, a dream giver, and a scholarship provider. 

This year, I finished 2nd runner up to Miss Florida, I won Preliminary Interview, Preliminary Evening Wear, Preliminary Swimsuit, and Over All Evening Wear. Totaling up my Scholarship winnings this year to, $7,200. I am SO very excited for our new Miss Florida, my dear friend, Elizabeth Fechtel! She will be a wonderful representative for our state! I have one more year to achieve my dream of becoming Miss America. There is no time to waste. Time to start perfecting for next year! Here we go! One last time!

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